


Rockstar

by Trash



Category: Linkin Park
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-23
Updated: 2014-01-23
Packaged: 2018-01-09 18:12:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1149213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trash/pseuds/Trash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What nobody understands is - you don’t fall out of love with a rock star</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rockstar

**Author's Note:**

> I pretend I can always leave, free to go whenever I please...I love you baby. I’m in chains

“What the holy hell are you wearing?”

This is the VMA’s two thousand five. This is Brad wearing the most god awful shades and biggest shit eating grin Chester has ever seen.

This is the VMA’s and this is Mike trying to fit in with his friends again. He stands next to Chester and feels out of place, itching to stand with Jay. Hell, he’d rather stand alone. Because Chester is just so...he’s cold with Mike now.

This is Chester saying “You look like a Thunderbird character.”

“You look like vomit. Yeah...like...I’m cooler. I have taste.”

Chester tells Brad that his taste is all in his mouth and Brad blinks “huh?”

Mike rolls his eyes. Chester is trying out his glam rock image again. Failing, miserably. But it’s the thought that counts. Right? And he more than likely put a lot of thought into his outfit. Chester never leaves the house dressed in a half assed out fit.

They haven’t spoken for a while now. Since before Fort Minor. Live 8 was the last time they spoke face to face. It’s easier to lie and be happy over the phone, over the internet. And Mike thinks he should just let go of Chester now, but he really can’t.

Chester is...he’s a rock star. And nobody falls out of love with a rock star.

Chester is a god. He’s like an angel. Mike remembers being drunk and hearing Chester’s voice, heavy and lusty in his ear and muttering “follow me and I’ll show you the way. I’ll help you. I promise.”

Whatever. From the moment the words left his lips Mike knew it was bullshit. But there was always the possibility...

Then Fort Minor happened and Chester all but ditched him. Rock stars and their fads. And the fad of the month, that would be Brad.

As Brad and Chester stand, smiling for the cameras, Mike thinks of something witty to say. He wants to tell them that working with the people in Fort Minor is the best experience of his life. But he’s scared. He’s a bag of nerves and smiling.

Flash. Click. This way, Linkin Park! Look this way!

He mutters into Chester’s ear “Dude...I...look man, I’m sorry. Okay?”

Chester smiles and drops a hand to Brad’s waist. Brad, he’s oblivious behind his shades. The vocalist whispers “Whatever you say, Mikey.”

When they’re inside, the lights are dimmed and the crowds are cheering and Mike takes this opportunity to say “What the hell did I do to you?”

Chester turns to him, “You abandoned me.”

“I could never abandon you.”

“I know.” Smiles Chester, waving as a camera flashes and grinning “I know you couldn’t. But you tried. You tried. I got bored of waiting.”

He pulls Brad in for a deep kiss and Mike watches, his heart pounding in his chest resounds in his head. Badum...badum...badum...dum...

***

This is the next day. This is Mike waking up alone because Anna left so long ago. She got fed up. She said “me or him.” Mike knew what she meant, yet he sat dumbfounded on the bed and watched as she grabbed her bag and stormed out. He still wears his wedding ring. But then again, so does Chester.

The phone is ringing, incessant and shrill. He’d answer it if only he could move without feeling his stomach twist and tug around the alcohol he drank last night.

Click and his recorded voice asks the caller to leave a detailed message. Then there’s Chester’s voice. He sounds tired, worn out and exhausted. He says “Hey. I know you’re there. It’s only…erm…nine? Yeah. It’s nine in the morning so I’m guessing you’re in bed with a hangover. That’s what you get with all night drinking. You should have stuck with me and Brad.”

Mike laughs into the empty room “Yeah. Right. And watch you make out?”

“We just hung around for a bit. Talinda showed up so Brad…he had to like…you know…he had to pretend not to love me. Because he does love me…”

And Mike wonders, “Who are you trying to convince, Chaz?”

“Anyway…just wondered what you got up to. Hopefully I won’t see you on MTV news for streaking or anything.”

Chester sighs and says “I know you’re angry at me. I’m angry at me too. I’m sorry that I made a scene last night. But I did love you. You just…you turned your back on me and I got tired of waiting around.

“Why am I even explaining this to you?”

Then there’s a click and Chester’s voice is gone. He’s left Mike alone. Just like he always did.

***

This is...well, nobody knows what this is. This could be a party. This could be another rowdy party hosted by Chester Bennington who is currently on his twelfth beer. Or this could be a funeral. Either way, the mood is the same.

This could be Mike, wasted and leaning heavily against Joe, the DJ holding his friend up and wearing a bemused expression. Joe grips a handful of Mike’s shirt and says “you’re a mess.”

“Nobody is looking at me anyway.” Mike steps away from Joe, tugging at his shirt and brushing himself down.

Joe just watches blankly “You’d be surprised how many people are watching you right now.”

There’s Chester, for a start. He’s on the other side of the room and has an arm wrapped around Talinda’s petite waist, Brad glued to his other side. There’s someone, a tall man with dark hair wearing an outfit that belongs in the eighties, he’s talking to Chester but the vocalist’s eyes are glued on Mike’s, his mouth parted slightly and his expression dark.

Joe, he’s pissed off and saying “You guys are pathetic. Well...” He grabs a drink from a tray some kid just out of college brought past, “you more so than Chester.”

“I’m not pathetic.”

“Look at him.” Joe continues, nodding in the direction of Chester who has now dropped is head to kiss Talinda’s smooth neck whilst his hand blindly gropes at Brad’s ass. “He has a model for a girlfriend. He should be content. But no, he’d rather drag you and Brad around by the nose too.”

“That doesn’t make me pathetic.”

“You love him.”

“I’m not pathetic, Joe.”

The DJ shrugs and takes a swig from his bottle, “Okay.” Glancing around he says “He’s a whore, Mike. He’s only after one thing, from you, Brad and Talinda.”

Mike, he doesn’t care. Chester could be fucking the whole of America and Mike would still be his number one fan. He’s just begging to be noticed right now, begging for Chester to drop everything and come over to him. He says “I am not pathetic.”

“Okay.”

He turns to look at Joe, whose façade is calm. Joe, who will state his opinion but never intervene.

This is Mike. This is his dawning of realization. This is the moment when he sees himself from Joe’s point of view. This is him not wanting to swallow his pride, not wanting to admit that maybe...just maybe Joe is right. Maybe Mike really is pathetic for loving Chester like he does. But what can he do about it?

What nobody understands is that once you fall in love with Chester you’re bound by an invisible ball-and-chain.

What nobody understands is - you don’t fall out of love with a rock star.


End file.
